She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Too much gin, very little bucket
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
