I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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