i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Terrible idea I love it
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
