I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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