I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
