He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
