Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
