I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
