At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Oh god it's open bar.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize