I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
