we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
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He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
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Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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