No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I am available for nakedness
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
