Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
