You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
