well you can't waste a boner
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm like, not good at living.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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