Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
