just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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