Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
