About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
