I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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