I want to stick my p in your. b.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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