Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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