he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
