My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
