hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
