I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
