Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize