what day is it and did you see me today?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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