I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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