I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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