but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
