We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
