she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
