I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
They have beer where we have blood.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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