I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
