from now on my penis is your penis
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Congratulations! We have a period
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