can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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