No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
