I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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