when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
