Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the day after is always just damage control
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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