i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
