Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I did not marry a roomba.
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