yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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