So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
