Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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