i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My dick has a subreddit
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
