I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
