i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
