why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
