Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
