you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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