Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
