I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
