dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize