how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
ugly people sure do ruin things
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
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he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
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Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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