Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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