Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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