At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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