That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
