I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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