Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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